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De Bary was born Dec. 26, 1950, in Scranton, Pa. She graduated from the City College of New York in 1971 and received a master of philosophy degree from Teachers College in 1977. In 1978, she received a doctorate from Columbia University.
She worked at the Rusk Institute for Rehabilitation Medicine in New York City, and for various school districts in New York and New Jersey before coming to Greenwich as a psychologist for the Greenwich Board of Education in 1977. She later served as moderator of Parents Exchange, a support group for new parents at the Greenwich Hospital, in the late 1980s. She also worked as a psychological tester in a longitudinal study conducted by Yale University.
A longstanding member of the Junior League of Greenwich, de Bary served at various times as a board member of several local educational and family services organizations, including the World Affairs Forum, the YWCA, Parents Together and the Board of Social Services of the Town of Greenwich. She also served as a volunteer for the Reading Champions program at the Byram Archibald Neighborhood Center and was appointed to the Environmental Action Task Force that developed an energy policy for the Town of Greenwich.
For a number of years, de Bary served as chair of the Academic World Quest competition for the World Affairs Forum, where teams of students from high schools in Westchester and Fairfield Counties compete in answering questions related to world history, geography, politics and economics and the customs and practices of foreign cultures. She also chaired the Forum's Study Abroad Scholarship Program for several years.
As a member of the founding committee for Kids in Crisis, she provided research to demonstrate the need for a crisis nursery in Greenwich. De Bary was also active in providing post-war relief to women and families in Bosnia through the Connecticut Friends of Bosnia.
de Bary is survived by her husband, Paul de Bary; children, Edward (Ned) de Bary of Boston and John de Bary of New York City; and brother, Robert Stiepock (Virginia) of Wakefield, R.I.
There are no calling hours. A memorial service will be held at 2 p.m. Sunday, April 6, at the Belle Haven Club in Greenwich.
In lieu of flowers, contributions in de Bary’s memory be made to Family Centers Inc., 40 Arch St., Greenwich, CT 06830 or online at http://familycenters.org.
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